We all know that people like to give their two cents (whether asked for or not) on things that may not be any of their business. For example, when I was pregnant I got one particular comment from someone about the shape of my belly. I have found that that was just the beginning. Everyone seems to like voicing their opinions on very personal matters like epidural or not (I didn't get one- but I don't blame others who do), nursing or not and for how long (I pushed through the hard times and was able to nurse for over a year- but again, it's none of my business if others do that or not), how to feed the baby, how to clothe the baby, how to put the baby on a sleeping schedule (although, thanks to my SIL Jocelyn we were able to get Em on a schedule and in her own bed), whether to give them medicine or not, and the list goes on!!
As a first time mom it is hard enough to feel unsure of a lot of things but then when you have people left and right telling you how to do things, it can get even more stressful. If I ask for help, that's one thing. But telling me how to raise MY child? Oh, heck no!
Do they think I wouldn't do what I feel is best? What makes them think they have any right to tell me I am doing things wrong?
This came up the other day when I posted on facebook this blog post about what jeans are flattering and what jeans aren't. I like to look nice and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. But I got a comment from someone that said something along the lines of "I don't care. I would rather spend X amount of money on a cheap pair of jeans and feed and clothe my children". Was she trying to call me selfish for wanting a good pair of jeans? Does she think that if I buy one thing that I wouldn't be able to feed and clothe Emily? And does she think that I would buy those jeans if it did mean I couldn't feed and clothe her? That's just one example.
A friend of mine posted this article on her facebook about taking your kids to the park and letting them play and learn on their own, even if that means they can't climb something or get hurt in the process. It says that hovering over and helping your children be safe and do things they feel they can't do on their own is, pretty much, hindering them in the long run.
I asked around to hear some of my friends thoughts on that article.
"I think it is great for them to learn on their own. As long as I am comfortable that Finn is safe."- Andrew
"Moms that sit 15 feet away from their kids at the park are lazy and I usually end up disciplining their children."- Meagan
My thoughts? At this point, Emily is still too young for me to go sit down and watch her play. She puts things in her mouth and wouldn't be able to do much besides that if I wasn't there to help her up the stairs and down the slide. Will I always do that? No. Once she is old enough and capable of playing on her own, I will let her. But I will always be watching her closely and help talk her through or show her how to do things if she needs my help.
Another thing I would like to point out is that I think some parents ARE lazy at the park. Not all of the parents who are sitting far away are letting their children learn. They are lazy. I had to tell kids at the park to not go down the slide at the same time as Emily because they would slide right on top of her. I had to tell a kid to not hit his sister. A girl wanted to get on a swing next to Emily but was too little to get up on her own so I had her go get whoever she came with. See my point? These kids may be old enough to play on their own but it doesn't mean they shouldn't be supervised.
What do you think? Are you a "helicopter", a "sit down and let them play", or an "in between" parent?