Emily's Birth- According To Grandpa

Every month, my dads side of the family (which is a large amount of people) write emails to update everyone on what's new that month. Last month for our family's big news was obviously the birth of my parents first grand-baby! I loved what my dad wrote about his version of Emily's birth so I got his permission to post it on my blog. Enjoy!! 

BTW, Billie is my mom.

"As Billie already let you all know, our first grandbaby was born on September 25, 2011.  A beautiful little girl born to our beautiful daughter, Shelley, and her fine husband, Michael.  I figured I'd let you hear my view of her birth. (with a few corrections by Billie afterwards).

Shelley, with good reason, was ready to have the baby.  She was already a few days late.  Billie was also ready to be the grandmother.  She decided that she had a mother's/grandmother's responsibility to help out even before the baby was born.  She went to stay a few days with Michael and Shelley because Shelley was overdue and Michael was working nights and had a long commute.  I was even talked into going over to their house on Friday night, September 23.  What could I do to help except to cheer on the real workers?  We spent a nice Saturday together doing odds and ends around the house.

Around 4:00 PM we had another talk about how long Shelley might have to wait.  She was a bit discouraged that the schedule was being delayed. We had decided to go out to dinner together and Billie suggested Shelley go and take a very long shower (It may be her last for awhile) and relax. We encouraged Michael to go do his workout at the gym, Billie went to help out somewhere in the house, and I decided to be productive and pulled out a science fiction to read.  By 5:00 PM Billie told me, with some deliberately held-in-check excitement, that things were starting to happen.  Let the games begin!

Michael was called at the gym to come home.  The women raced around getting ready.  I read a few more pages of my science fiction.  Michael lost a few points by being a little slower than Shelley wanted him to be in coming home.  By 6:00 PM Michael and Shelley were off to the hospital.  Michael made up some points by his speed to the hospital.  We left a few minutes after Michael and Shelley but arrived well after they did.

Needless to say, we didn't get dinner. Better for Shelley, bad for the rest of us.

It has been over 19 years since I had any first hand observation of labor.  I had forgotten how difficult it is for the women.  Who invented that system?  As a husband there is little you can do to assist your wife during labor.  I went to all of the training classes, and did the routine that was in vogue at the time our children were born.  You know, La Maze.  "Breath, Sweetheart!  Hee, hee, hee, bloooow.  Hee, hee, hee, bloooow."  I tried to be supportive of Billie during this time.  "Yes, Dear.  You are doing fine.  I don't know where the doctor currently is.  I am rubbing your back as hard as I can!"  As a father there is almost nothing you can do to help, or appear to help, or pretend to help.  For Shelley, my daughter, mostly I sat in the waiting room.  I dropped by once into the delivery room and said hello.  When I went back a second time I was told to wait in the hallway for a bit.  I waited and waited.  After awhile I could tell that I should come back later.  I wandered around the halls of the hospital to keep myself awake.

Shelley was doing the work.  Although everything was progressing well, it still takes time.  Michael was doing what he could to be supportive.  No La Maze, but he still had his chance to sympathize with his wife and help out in small ways as he could.  Billie was there off and on as the night moved on.  Shelley was a trooper.  She did her job well.

At 1:14 AM, on Sunday morning, September 25, 2011, Emily Joanne was born.  Shelley and baby were doing fine.  

I was able to see Shelley and Emily about an hour later.  Emily was beautiful.  There is something sublime about holding a very newborn baby in your arms.  To see all of the delicate features.  To see and feel the softness.  To feel her move in your arms.  To think of where her spirit had been so recently.  To think of her endless possibilities and the wonderful life that she will have.  I was very happy to just sit there and look at her.

How do I feel as a first-time grandfather?  I feel good.  It isn't a "I won the game" type of feeling good.  It isn't a "This is fantastic Rocky Road ice cream" type of feeling good.  It is more like an "All's well in the world" feeling good.  Satisfied.  Complete.  Content.  Life is good.

Emily is a beautiful baby.  Yes.  I know I'm biased.  That is OK.  I'm also right.  She is beautiful.  Like her mother, she was born with a full head of hair.  She has a beautiful face.  I think Michael is already figuring out how to keep the boys in line that will be paying her attention in a few short years.

I went home after the delivery.  I even got a few hours sleep before I headed to my church meetings.  I was surprised that people at church already knew that Emily had been born.  I believe that Shelley had already let many of her friends know via Facebook.  Those that didn't read about it in Facebook heard about it as it was announced from the pulpit in both Shelley's and Michael's original home wards.  I must have heard, "Congratulations, grandpa!" twenty times that morning.  I just smiled my contented smile.  Thank-you.  You are so kind.

Shelley and Emily stayed in the hospital for a few days while Billie and Michael tag teamed. Michael spent most of his afternoons/evenings/nights/early mornings at the hospital. Billie did the reverse at the house with the dogs. They traded so Michael could get some sleep at home and dog time and Billie got to be a mom and grandma at the hospital.  Before going home Emily developed jaundice, which is where the baby has a yellow tint as her liver hadn't kicked in completely,  She was treated with UV light in the hospital and once home Emily was given a futuristic ultraviolet light blanket to wear. It wrapped around her torso, held with 2 tiny Velcro strips, had a heavy vacuum cleaner type hose that snapped into a little canister with a long plug to the outlet. Very neat device. We could still hold her.  The ultraviolet light helps break down what the liver hadn't yet started to break down.  Emily had that on for a few days.  The doctors had to take a few blood samples from Emily to see how she was progressing.  It was difficult for those involved to see her have to have these samples taken from her foot.

Billie stayed to help for a few more days.  However, with Michael allowed off from work for a month to help with the baby, they decided that Billie could go home.  Frankly, Billie was a little disappointed that she couldn't help more.

The following Friday night, Michael and Shelley did come to our house with Emily.  They even let us babysit while they went out for dinner.  It was our first chance to babysit Emily.  What a blessing!  Unfortunately, Michael and Shelley went fast, ate fast, and hurried home fast to get Emily.  They were only gone for an hour.  Emily was asleep the whole time.  We want a redo.  I'm sure we will get one or two.  We are looking forward to it.

We were asked how we wanted to be called as grandparents.  Should I be "grandfather" which I believe is what I called my grandfather?  Grandpa?  Opa?  Or a multitude of other variations?  I said Grandpa would be fine.

Grandpa has a nice ring to it.  I like it.

Grandpa Ron"

Emily's Birth Story

**I'm not really going to filter what I say in this, so if you don't like the details which can be TMI, feel free not to read it.**

On Saturday, Sept. 24th, my parents were at our house visiting for a while. Michael had just left to go to the gym and I was (of course) whining to my parents about still being pregnant at 40 weeks and 4 days. I hated that I couldn't do anything but wait for my little girl to enter the world on her own time. I had to continue to try and be patient and in the meantime deal with the discomforts of being so far along. My mom recommended that I take a nice, long, hot shower to relax. I took her advice and got in the shower.

When I got out of the shower at about 4:45 pm and put my underwear on, I noticed...wetness. I was pretty sure my water broke. I had my mom come in my room and I showed her. She was pretty sure it was my water too. I called the Labor and Delivery line and asked them what I should do. They told me it sounded like my water broke and that I should come in to be safe. I called Michael to let him know he needed to come home because my water broke and we needed to go to the hospital. I went to the bathroom and lost my plug. Soon after that, my contractions started. I hurried and got dressed (in my moms dress- the only thing that fit me since my clothes were in the dryer) and my mom insisted on taking one last belly bump picture as well as a picture of how many inches around I was. As if I could ever forget. Ha! I grew a lot in the last 4 days of pregnancy.

I remember being sweaty from my nerves. This is pretty much what was going through my head. "I'm finally in labor! Why wasn't Michael home yet? Am I going to be able to do this? How long will my labor last? Am I really in labor or is this another false alarm? Why is Michael still not here?! Did I remember to pack everything? Poor Jexi. She is going to worry and I'm going to miss her while I'm gone. What is taking Michael so long?!"

Meanwhile, I was having consistent contractions at about 5 minutes apart. Finally, about an hour after I had first called him to come home, Michael walked in the door. He was surprised that it was the real deal, not another false alarm. He hurried and got in the shower, we packed the car, and headed to the hospital. The contractions were now 3-4 minutes apart as we were driving the 20 minutes to the hospital. I felt the pain in my lower belly and in my back. I wasn't expecting that. I thought it would be just in my belly. It hurt so bad to sit there in the car! Longest drive ever. Michael was driving like a maniac to try and get me there faster. Don't worry, he was being careful. Careful but fast and efficient.

When we got there, Michael wheeled me in in a wheelchair. I was so emberassed. I hated how people stared at us as Michael ran through the doors of the hospital. I was hoping and praying I could make it to L&D before I got another contraction so I wouldn't have to have one while people watched. I can't remember now if I did or not. I do remember how long it seemed to take to get situated in our room. Do you know how hard it is to try and pee in a cup for the nurse while having contractions? Ugh. Finally I was able to lay down and relax a bit in between contractions while answering their annoying questions like "Do you smoke? Drink? Have any allergies? Any complications?" The list of questions was endless. Another problem? I was already hungry and labor had just started. It was going to be a long night since they don't let you have anything but ice chips while you are in labor. I was able to convince Michael to let me have a bite of his granola bar though.

When they checked me to see how dilated and effaced I was, I was told I was practically at 5 cm and "paper thin", which I assume means fully effaced. I was already halfway done! Nice! The pain in my hand and arm from my IV with the penicillin hurt worse than the contractions, even though they tried to dilute it for me. It literally felt like my arm was on fire. I had to have it though because I tested positive for Strep B. They asked me if I wanted an epidural and I told them that so far the contractions were manageable but I might change my mind later on. I met the anesthesiologist when he came in the room to say "hi". I tried to be as pleasant as possible with him, just in case I needed him later. :)

The contractions at that point felt like the really bad cramps I get the first day or two of my periods. Do they hurt really bad? Oh, yes. But could I handle it? Yep. My nurse was awesome. She fully supported me the whole time. They were impressed with how tough I was and how well I handled labor. Thank you, thank you. It was awesome feeling like I could do it without the epidural. I might get some bragging rights after all! It's an empowering feeling.

When I reached the point in my labor (probably around 7 or 8 cm and about 4 hours into it) that the contractions were about 2 minutes apart and excruciatingly painful, I told Michael I might need the epidural after all. Then after each contraction I would say, "Maybe I don't need it, I don't know. I don't know what to do!" Then I would change my mind again. And again. And again. My nurse said she could put some pain meds in my IV to help me relax and be able to handle labor better. I was in so much pain I was starting to hyperventilate, which was bad because baby and I both needed more oxygen and when you get that worked up, it kind of stalls labor. She would make me look her in the eye and breath through it. When I would scream at her that I was trying, she stayed calm. Michael was also an amazing, supportive labor couch. He was right there next to me the entire time. When I wanted silence, he would be quiet. When I didn't want to be touched, he left me alone. Whatever I wanted, he did.

After I got some pain meds through my IV, they turned down the lights and put a wet paper towel over my eyes to help me calm down. I still felt the awfulness of the contractions, but I was able to kind of moan through the pain instead of scream, haha. I was able to handle it better, like she promised. The best part was the minute or two break in between contractions when I felt like I was high. I was so relaxed I could almost sleep. It felt good to have my mom, Michael, and the nurse, all talking gently and lightly stroking my legs and stuff to soothe me.

After a while, it was time to push. My mom left the room, my midwife (who was really great, too) came in, and we got started. It took a long time. I think maybe an hour and a half to two hours of pushing. I kept pushing my legs against them so they made me hold my own and pull them toward me so I wouldn't waste all my energy on the wrong thing. It was so hard to focus and do it right. I also had to keep trying to figure out how to not gasp for air after running out of it at the end of each contraction because when you gasp, the baby goes back in a bit. They kept telling me to breath slowly. It was near impossible to get it together enough to breath right, push right, and hold my own legs. I was thoroughly exhausted. They brought a mirror to show me Emily's head to help motivate me. They even put my hand on it once. I was too tired to fully grasp what was going on. All I could focus on was getting her out.

I don't really remember this, but my mom said that there were a lot of nurses in the room that were pretty much my own personal cheer squad. I do remember hearing about another girl in labor who had been there since midnight the night before and she was finally pushing too. The race was on. A little spark of competition was enough for me to give a few last pushes and out she came! Oh, the stinging pain! But who cares?! It's over and she was finally here!

While it did hurt to get stitched up and have to do all the other afterbirth things, I was able to overlook it because in my arms, I held my beautiful daughter for the first time. Michael cut the umbilical cord, which surprised me. He isn't normally one to even be able to talk about things like that without the blood draining from his face. But he was able to flip a switch and watch labor with ease and then cut the cord. He stepped up into his role of fatherhood immediately.

Emily was born on Sunday, September 25th at 1:14 am. She weighed 7lbs. 3 oz. and measured 19 3/4" long. She was the perfect size and had a beautiful round head and minimal bruising and swelling. It was amazing to see how beautiful she was from the start.