Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Writer's Workshop: Fear

I was a kid, watching a movie I never should have watched.

Arachnophobia.

Fast forward about 15 years.

I was in my new apartment and my husband was at work. I had a friend over.

*Keep in mind, this is just one of many stories like this.*

For some reason this apartment gets infested with these nasty creatures.

I spot them quite easily. I like to think I have a special gift for it. A radar, if you will.

To continue with this particular story though...

We were hanging out when all of the sudden I see one. These are not little ones. They are big. And thick. And FAST. When this happens, I sort of have a crazy reaction. I get shakey and hot. I feel tingles like when your foot falls asleep except in my face, like I might pass out. It's extreme. To make matters worse, the spider was in my room. I was keeping both eyes on it to make sure it wasn't moving while she ran to get the vacuum. She couldn't figure out how to get the hose part to work. I told her to watch the spider while I did the vacuum. She forgot her job. I looked up and it was GONE. To make a long story short...we tore apart the room for 2 hours looking for the dang thing. I would not go to bed in that room without finding it and getting rid of it first! It was getting late though. Like, really late. Michael was working that night and he would be home in a couple hours, that's how late it was.

She left me alone.

Two minutes after she left I saw it again! I quickly called her and begged asked her to come back to save  help me again!

She grudgingly came back.

This spider knew what we were up to. He was probably laughing at us while he was hiding by the curtain rods. Then, he ran for his life across the wall, down the door frame, (all while we were screaming like mad women), down onto the carpet and out the door!

I dustbusted the thing.

No. That was not the end of him. He wouldn't die that easily. I could see him through the dustbuster running around in there. If I turned it off. So I kept it turned on while my friend taped every crevice closed tightly.


 We watched. He wasn't going anywhere. But just to be safe, we put the dustbuster in a garbage bag.

And then we shoved it in the freezer for Michael to deal with when he got home.


That was last year. It's spider season again. We are unfortunately still in that apartment. I just saw the first one a couple weeks ago and called the apartment manager to get an exterminator out and spray for us again. Oh, they know me. They definitely know me this time of year. And what did I do when I saw this spider and bravely killed it all on my own? (Well, with the help of spider spray and a fly swatter!) I text that friend again.

Me: It's spider season again! AHHH!!!

Her: Ah, crap.

This post was brought to you by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.
The prompt I chose was #5: Where does that fear come from? Write about something that frightens you that other people might find ridiculous. Write about it in a poem, a story, or whatever.

28 comments :

Sarah said...

i've never seen that movie, but only because i know it would scare me! i am soooo afraid of anything creepy and crawly... we've always had those same big brown fast furry spiders at my parents house and that is my favorite part about being married now-- being out of that house because of the spiders! we recently had an ant problem here at our apartment and it was freaking me out. there were thousands of them on our kitchen floor and i did what you did. Vacuum. More came and when my husband got home he just sprayed them with this stuff called "Raid" and they haven't been back since! Yay for husbands!

Marie said...

LOL Well written, I was right there with you!! I have the same reaction to those ugly little buggers! I don't know if you have ever seen a cave cricket (I don't know if that's their name, but that's what we've always called them), but it's like a spider on steroids and they JUMP! *gag* I look for the first available thing I can spray so I don't have to get too close...usually a bottle of Windex or some sort of all purpose cleaner...I don't care if I bleach walls, just as long as it dies! Good luck with with your spring spider extermination!

Mommy Drinks Because You Cry said...

So would it be really really mean of me to tell you that that average American swallows something like 2 spiders a year in their sleep?
This would be why I ALWAYS sleep with my mouth closed!
Sweet Dreams.

Annie said...

sick...I hate spiders too!! I am NOT looking forward to "spider season"...gives me the willy's just thinking about it!

Thanks for stopping by my blog today!! Yours is great! I will def. be back to visit often :)

Christy said...

I LOVE this! It's hilarious! I'm the same way with cockroaches! Thank GOD there aren't any in Boston!

I'm always too scared to vacuum them because I'm afraid they'll somehow crawl out. Your freezer idea was great!

I had mice at the beginning of the year and it was HORRIFIC.

Lyr said...

Just found your blog. I really like it. Hope you don't mind if I keep reading! :)

jadenotjaded said...

YES! I hear ya! I saw that movie too, and I am totally afraid of spiders (we have a lot of black widows where I live, eek). I even ask my 4 year old to kill them for me (not black widows, just little spiders), he won't. IF I have to kill one - I must scream - makes it better somehow.

LOVE your spider story! haha

Kristin said...

Ah ha ha ha...In the freezer...what a brilliant solution. That's what boys are for...to deal with icky creatures!

Charlene said...

Apparently you and I have a lot in common...with the baby fever and with the spiders. I too wrote about spiders (in a seperate post) and while I thought my spider killing ways were certifibly mental...I think yours tops mine. I would have FREAKED if I saw that think still running around in the dustbuster! Creepy devils!!!!

Simply Valorie said...

Oh man. I have a thing with spiders too. They don't bother me if they're standing still, but the second they start moving in their gliding-not-walking way that reminds me of ghosts, I freak out. I can't handle it. So, I totally get where you're coming from!

Mama the Chef said...

You crack me up! I did something very similar just the other night, woke my husband out of a dead sleep to make him kill a HUGE spider that crawled under the couch! YUCK!

La Mere Joie said...

OOH! I hate bugs of all kinds. I use my dustbuster to get them too. One trick- pour a bit of bleach on the floor after you get them, and they die right away inside. Of course you have to clean out the dustbuster a bit more as it's damp inside, but it works like a charm. Bleach is our friend!

Thanks for stopping by my blog today too!

nowimagrownup said...

I know that fear!!! Only mine is roaches. I don't know why (aside from them being ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING). I mean, they can't hurt me... but any time I see one, my skin crawls and I have this unnerving need to run as far away as possible. I don't want to squish em, cause that's messy and who wants to clean that up?? I just want to GET AWAY. I can totally see me doing the dust buster thing :)

Stephanie said...

hahaha this is a hilarous story!!! i laughed when you taped the dustbuster up, THEN you put it in a garbage bag, and STILL put it in the freezer??? LMAO. awesome.

i do think we will be blog friends! haha. following yours now!

singedwingangel said...

Ty so much for stoppingby my blog. I am not real fond of spiders but I do love them as well. Wait does that make sense?? Ok I don't want them in my house.. outside I don't mind if I don't walk through their webs.. yeah that made more sense.. You remember the book Charlotte's web and the writing spider. Well round here we have those spiders in abundance, they are wonderful for the garden.. but they are HUGE like nearly as big as my hand huge.. Hate those things..

Stef said...

Haha. That is funny! Those things usually don't freak me out...but my daughter is like you. Good luck!!

erica said...

Eww! I have, at home... sitting in my vacuum... a beetle. I JUST remembered that from reading this... and now, I fear he has multiplied! In my vacuum!

I hate creepy, crawly everythings!

Lourie said...

I kill all the creepy crawlie things. Now if the spider gets to big, or if it a big nasty bug, then it's my hubbies problem. haha. I never did see that moive. *shudder*

Mrs. G said...

New follower! I never saw the movie either... well I've seen bits and pieces now I'm older, but when it was fresh and new, I was too scared. :)

jen said...

My brother is the same with spiders, and in a house with three sisters, we could never leave him alone about it. Thanks for commenting on my blog today. I'm going to stop by and see what you're up to!

pegbur7 said...

My hubby is petrified of spiders so I have to be the spider eliminator here. He's been bitten by brown recluse spiders twice. NOT good. He once threatened to walk home from the grocery store because a spider was on the dashboard.

Mary said...

Hi Shelly.... Loved your post! Crawly things are just simply gross and creepy!

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

How funny! Why didn't you just step on it?

Visiting from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. I used this prompt too.

Suzie Que said...

The feelings you described are called a panic attack! What a funny story! Part of me says, "Poor spider" but another part of me gets the heebie jeebies thinking about watching it crawl around in the dustbuster. Ew.

amy said...

creepy crawlies are the worst but your writing is really great.

i would have loved to hear the conversation when your husband got home to the dustbuster all taped and bagged in the freezer. in my family that would have become a story to tell for generations.

Laddie said...

Nicely done, dear.

hotpants™ said...

I can get on board with all of this except for the freezer part. I would have put the garbage bag outside. I hate spiders too. Eek!

Paige said...

I feel like your actions are perfectly rational :)

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